I am pretty fucking traumatized about what happened to me on Saturday night.
What my delicate eyes saw, I will never be able to unsee. (Apparently blogger doesn't think 'unsee' is a word but I disagree)
I had arranged to have the night off work to go to a gay event. You see the Appalachian Community Fund was giving a Hero award out to Martha Boggs. Martha is the owner of a local restaurant and a few months back she kicked out our local douchebag politician Stacey Campfield from her restaurant. Stacey Campfield is the idiot that said this
"most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community – it
was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having
sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.... My understanding
is that it is virtually – not completely, but virtually – impossible to
contract AIDS through heterosexual sex...very rarely"
Also he sponsored the now defunct "Don't Say Gay" bill.
I was super stoked to be able to go and show support for her. Beyond giving out the award, there was also a drag show and a dance party.
The drag show is what has permanently damaged me.
Now, I have seen my fair share of drag shows seeing as how every single gay bar in Knoxville insists on focusing all their energies on them. (Seriously Knoxville, sometimes I just want to go out and be surrounded by fellow gays without having to see a drag show)
The drag queens in Knoxville are, well, a hot mess for the most part.
This specific one on Saturday took the fucking meaning of hot mess to a whole new level.
Don't misunderstand me. I am sure it is super difficult to rearrange your package so as to maintain the whole 'mystique' of being a drag queen.
I'm just saying that before you go out on stage to perform in a tiny little bikini, you should make sure that your dick isn't showing.
Also, I know you knew your dick was showing so stop twerking it and fix your shit.
p.s. I tried to find a picture of the drag queen to prove my point, but I couldn't find one. If they post pictures from the event I will be sure to share them with you all. You're welcome in advance.
Because I am a fan of disturbing things, I looked up the event, and found zero pictures. I'll be waiting.
ReplyDeleteThere was a fancy photographer walking around taking pictures during the event so hopefully they will post some soon.
DeleteHa! Before I got to the end of the post, I was thinking I wanted a picture. Then the whole "dick hanging out thing" convinced me a picture was the LAST thing I wanted to see. However, it sounds...interesting. Come on, people. If you're going to drag, drag with some class, am I right? ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are completely right.
DeleteOMG. That sounds like a classic combination of awkward and hilarious. Also, I now want to watch Priscilla Queen of the Desert for the five billionth time. Guy Pearce is a much classier drag queen than that! ;)
ReplyDeleteThey shouldn't have even been called a drag queen, maybe a drag duchess or something.
DeleteI wish Fargo had drag shows, but that would never happen. We do have a Pride Parade that I go to every year to show my support, but it lasts about 6 minutes. And we just got a gay bar. So Fargo is taking baby steps to a drag show. Maybe in 2016 I can report on the first Fargo drag queen show.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me that local politician isn't still in office? How do these idiots get elected?! Sometimes elections make me lose faith in people.
The idiot politician is in office until 2012 unfortunately.
Delete"it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly," Wait... he says 'if I recall correctly' - is he claiming responsibility?
ReplyDeleteI don't doubt that he was.
DeleteDicks were showing?!?! That's not even TRYING to be a decent drag queen, haha.
ReplyDeleteExactly. There was no effort made at all.
DeleteIt's impossible to not notice that kind of draft.
ReplyDeleteThis is my point exactly.
DeleteI think I know who u are talking about ahahahaha
ReplyDelete