I am pretty fucking traumatized about what happened to me on Saturday night.
What my delicate eyes saw, I will never be able to unsee. (Apparently blogger doesn't think 'unsee' is a word but I disagree)
I had arranged to have the night off work to go to a gay event. You see the Appalachian Community Fund was giving a Hero award out to Martha Boggs. Martha is the owner of a local restaurant and a few months back she kicked out our local douchebag politician Stacey Campfield from her restaurant. Stacey Campfield is the idiot that said this
"most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community – it
was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having
sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.... My understanding
is that it is virtually – not completely, but virtually – impossible to
contract AIDS through heterosexual sex...very rarely"
Also he sponsored the now defunct "Don't Say Gay" bill.
I was super stoked to be able to go and show support for her. Beyond giving out the award, there was also a drag show and a dance party.
The drag show is what has permanently damaged me.
Now, I have seen my fair share of drag shows seeing as how every single gay bar in Knoxville insists on focusing all their energies on them. (Seriously Knoxville, sometimes I just want to go out and be surrounded by fellow gays without having to see a drag show)
The drag queens in Knoxville are, well, a hot mess for the most part.
This specific one on Saturday took the fucking meaning of hot mess to a whole new level.
Don't misunderstand me. I am sure it is super difficult to rearrange your package so as to maintain the whole 'mystique' of being a drag queen.
I'm just saying that before you go out on stage to perform in a tiny little bikini, you should make sure that your dick isn't showing.
Also, I know you knew your dick was showing so stop twerking it and fix your shit.
p.s. I tried to find a picture of the drag queen to prove my point, but I couldn't find one. If they post pictures from the event I will be sure to share them with you all. You're welcome in advance.