It is time for a little bit of honesty.
I've been doing this blog thing for a while now and I haven't been completely honest with you all about something.
Specifically, my name isn't Ally. Well, it is. But it isn't.
See my real name is Allyssa June.
It's ok if you need to vomit. Seriously, it makes me want to vomit.
It is all sweet sounding and dainty. Allyssa?! Really? I am not an Allyssa. Also, what the fuck is up with 'June?' I wasn't born in June so why would you name me after a month? Although to be fair, my middle name is way better than my older sister's. (Her middle name is Leonelle. It always makes me laugh.)
My whole life every one has called me "Ally." Even when I was in trouble with my parents, I was still never called by my real name. I don't understand why they didn't just name me Ally. It would have made things a whole lot easier. Now I always get confused when people at the bank and places like that call me "Allyssa." Then, they think that I am shady because I don't know my own damn name. This only adds to their original judgement of me as a shady character what with all my tattoos and shit.
So, what is your dirty little secret?
Maybe you can have it legally changed to Ally? I don't know what that process is like or anything, but who knows.
ReplyDeleteI like my name because I am usually the only "Cherie" in the room, so I know if someone calls my name that they are talking to me.. unfortunately, no one EVER pronounces it right on the first try.
I could probably have it changed but that just seems like too much paperwork to me.
DeleteI recently updated my passport and saw my own birth certificate for the first time. It went something like this: "Mom, what the fuck is this?"
ReplyDelete"What do you mean?"
"My name is Quintinleano!? Not Quin?!"
"Oh, don't act like you didn't know."
Look of incredulity from me.
Oh wow. That is funny. At least I have always known my real name.
DeleteMy niece's name is Alyssa. You two are a lot alike. Well, I don't personally know you, but from what I've read, I notice a lot of similarities. She is amazing, and one hell of a little artist.
ReplyDeleteWell I am pretty amazing. But I am absolutely not an artist. I can barely draw stick figures.
DeleteI feel so betrayed. How could you lie to us? :-(
ReplyDeleteNah I'm messing with you. My first name is Lesley. My second name, which everyone has always used, is Tanya. It confuses people.
I know quite a few people that use their middle name.
DeleteNo big deal, I use fake names all the time! :)
ReplyDeleteVery clever.
DeleteYou are so not an Alyssa. Especially not an Alyssa June. I don't have any name secrets, but I had the biggest crush on The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) when I was young. I bought WWF pay per views to see him. That wouldn't be SO bad (I could blame it on my awkward thirteen year old self), but now that he is better known for his Tooth Fairy role than his wrestling, I try to keep that crush a secret.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I am totally not an Allyssa. And that's pretty funny that you had a crush on the Rock.
Deleteyeah.... those prison tattoos.
ReplyDeleteAllyssa June teehee.
ReplyDeleteI rarely hear my full name together. My friends call me Mel, and my family calls me Liss or Lissa.
I was actually so attached to my first, middle, and last names that I just stuck "Pace" at the end of the whole thing when I got married. It was neither of our maiden names, we chose it because it means "peace" in Italian.
Generally, people pronounce it like payce so at the dr. this morning I just stared blankly at the man who called Ms. Payce, much like your lack of response to Allysa.
If I had known when I got married that I could just make up my own last name, my life would be a lot more interesting now.
DeleteHi Ally,
ReplyDeleteI'm the Editor of LA Family Magazine. We're starting a Life After College section with weekly columnists who not only discuss their own lives, but speak for their generation on what it's like transitioning from college to the "real world." I like your voice and think you'd be a good fit.
Check us out at LAFamily.com and our facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/LAFamilyMagazine. Let me know if you're interested. You can reach me at Editor@lafamily.com
Michael Soll
Editor, LAFamily.com
If it makes you feel any better my cousin named her kid mercedes delicious.
ReplyDeleteYour name sounds very southern. I don't know how I got named Virginia which also sounds very southern to me.
Wait. She named her kid Delicious? That is pretty strange.
DeleteYes. My name is very southern belleish. Virginia is pretty southern too though.
My Middle name is Stuart... whenever I hear it, always makes me think of Stuart Little!
ReplyDeleteI call you Allyssa! And sometimes even throw the June in for kicks....
ReplyDelete