Old people freak me out. I'm talking about super old people.
See, I never really had any sort of grandparents as a kid and I just developed this weird phobia thing. Old people make me uncomfortable and nervous.
Mindy (like most people) think old people are just so cute and sweet and wise and what ever. I think they are going to try and suck out my life force like the people in Stephen King's "Sleepwalkers." Oh and I think they are rude. Every time I hold open the door for some old broad (because I am a polite, civilized person) they never ever say "Thank you." It really pisses me off and I have started mumbling "rude bitch" under my breath. Mindy doesn't like it when I do that.
Also old people freak me out because they make me think of death.
Anyways, I have mentioned my friend Meg before. Well her family pretty much adopted me a few years back, kind of like when you adopt that sad diseased kitten mainly because it won't stop showing up at your back door.
So over a year ago, Meg's amazing grandmother, Mimi passed away and it sucked. Not long after that her other grandmother, Gandy, became ill. One night Meg calls me and says that Gandy has passed and that they are all over at her Dad's house if I want to stop by. Of course, Mindy and I head straight over.
We walk in the living room and everyone is just sitting around being depressed. They tell me that Meg is in another room so I walk right in. Mindy does not. It was like she knew and didn't warn me, which is fucked up. Also, I am pretty sure that she laughed at me.
Saying that I was unprepared to walk into a room with a dead body, really does not appropriately explain the situation.
Now because I love Meg and I loved Gandy, I put on my game face and went and stood calmly next to Meg. We stayed like that until the funeral home people came a couple of hours later.
Two solid hours later.
There is no good conversation to have while in a room with a dead body.
Also, certain people kept coming in and talking to (and touching) Gandy's body. This only freaked me out more. All I could think was that maybe life force could be transferred by touching.
Did I mention Mindy never came in the damn room for moral support?
Oh man that is awkward as. My Grandad recently passed away, while I was there, and everyone came around to say goodbye, after about 10 minutes of all standing around staring at him I was like... ok guys.. let's go! Everyone was relieved. I think we all thought that we SHOULD stand around and stare at him... but that shit was freaking me out so I broke the taboo and was like... I'm outta here. It was MUCH better. When I die I don't want anyone staring at me. I think it will be like when you fall asleep on the plane... my mouth will definitely be open and that is uncomfortable. Love Elle xo
ReplyDeleteIt really is uncomfortable. You saved your family a lot of discomfort by getting them out of that situation as soon as possible.
DeleteDear wife, I offered to come in there with you. You said I shouldn't come in because there was an angel hanging from the ceiling and it was giving you a look. And I'm a sissy.
ReplyDeleteMindy, I thought about getting you that angel thing because it was hella creepy just for kicks but they buried her with that sucker.
DeleteIt WAS giving me a look.
DeleteHahaha you were a trooper that day. My favorite quote of the night was "Oh, Gandy your feets is cold." Bitch, she's dead! Really???!!? But really I am thankful you were there that night or I probably would've clocked that hooker.
ReplyDeleteA fight over a dead body would have been wildly inappropriate. I am glad I could save you from having to explain that to OJ.
DeleteDon't feel bad, old people freak me out too, even moreso after taking care of the Husbands Pappaw for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteAs for how rude they are, most old people don't think that people that are younger than they are deserve any respect whatsoever...trust me there are several in Tazewell that have told me that they think this way (including the hubby's Pappaw when he was alive) and it's really sad. I really think that they forget about who will be taking care of them when they become incapacitated one day then wonder why they get such crappy treatment at times.
You'd think that they would realize that just because you have lived a long time doesn't mean you deserve respect.
DeleteThank you for being amazing :-)
ReplyDeleteOJ you are the amazing one.
DeleteOld people suck. My 84-year-old gran phones my dad one day... "Did you know you need a license to drive on the roads?!" Holy shit! Well we better get on that then hey...
ReplyDeleteOld people are not only rude, bus also dangerous.
DeleteI sort of grew up in a funeral home. My uncle ran one. Our families are super close: my aunt and uncle and parents sort of collectively raised my brother, cousins, and me (kind of like Sister Wives, minus the polygamy). Therefore, I spent a lot of time at the funeral home. Maybe this is why death/dead people don't freak me out. I've played hundreds of games of hide and seek in that funeral home. Yes, hiding in the coffins is the best space. Please don't judge me.
ReplyDeleteThere is no judgement here. Playing hide and seek in a funeral home kind of makes you bad ass.
DeleteOh, and also, you're an awesome friend to stay there with her.
ReplyDeleteShe is a damn good friend!
DeleteMaybe it’ll help you be not so freaked out about older people if you could empathize with what they go through. Most of them are in a great deal of pain from either arthritis, or any number of ailments that affect the elderly. Their bodies don’t react as quickly as they once did, so making even a simple motion, like lifting an arm or taking a step, takes much longer for them. If you’ve ever been really sore and stiff the day after doing something strenuous, imagine feeling a much more intense version of that all day every day.
ReplyDeleteNo offense but a lot of older people are in great shape and are still rude. There really isn't a good excuse to be as rude as a lot of them are.
DeleteMy Granpappy says he lived on this earth for 78-daggum years, he's earned the right to not give a goddam!
DeleteI've been there, and it's not pretty. I seemed to be the only person in the room who found it disturbing.
ReplyDeleteYou younguns think you know everything don't you? Got it all figured out? Well, you just wait, whipper-snapper! You wait 30 years, when some snot nosed kid thinks it's ok to judge you, based on life experience that's less than half of yours! You'll be changing your tune then, missy!
ReplyDelete