I played the Mega Millions lottery today. I don't ever play the lottery, but since it is for a bajillion dollars right now (540000000. Seriously look at all those zeros) I figured it couldn't hurt.
I don't know why, but I felt pretty white trash while purchasing my tickets.
Actually, I do know why I felt so trashy. It was because I looked like this.
What would I do if I won the lottery?
Well, first I would buy a small farm. And have a miniature barn full of miniature animals. (Horses, donkeys, sheep, goats, porcupines, etc.) Also, I would hire a vertically challenged person to be my farm hand.
Oh and then I would totally have the laser hair removal business done because shaving gets really annoying sometimes.
I'd probably buy a few kidneys on the black market because you never know when you might need a kidney.
How much would a politician cost? I'd definitely get one of those too.
I would hire a full-time magician.
I would hire someone to follow Kayla around and throw water balloons at her all the time.
Obviously, I would buy a shit ton of polar bears.
I'd pay for Mindy to cage fight Gina Carano. (Mindy's favorite female fighter)
What ridiculous purchase would you make if you won the lottery?