Have you all seen the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader?" If you haven't, then you should probably do that soon.
The movie is about a girl who doesn't realize she is gay, until she is sent to a 'camp' that will make her not gay. It's pretty damn funny. There is a part in the movie where the kids are discussing the "root" of their homosexuality. I just had an epiphany and figured out what my root is/was...whatever.
Ok, so one day when I was 6/7/8ish I went to bother my older sister Adrienne. She was sitting at the computer with her friend Jackie and they were working on some school something or another. They were using the CD-rom encyclopedia. I walked up behind them to investigate and see this strange picture. It was pink with like a million little fish in it. I ask "Hey, what are those fish?" They both look at me and laugh.
It was not fish, it was sperm.
It wasn't until much later in my life that I discovered what sperm were. I hated the word. It brought back my childhood embarrassment and since I come from a family of assholes, any opportunity to mention sperm to me was taken. My face would immediately become red and I would, most likely, storm out of the room in a huff.
So, that is obviously why I am gay. I hate the word sperm. Bam.
it's not a great word. I prefer not to think about it.
ReplyDeleteIt just sounds gross.
DeleteWell then you're WELCOME.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have some theories of my own on your 'root'... (cough) dressing up like an animal (cough).
DeleteThank you. Also, you can keep your theories to your damn self.
DeleteMaybe I will call Mindy and we can work on material for HER blog.
DeleteYES!
DeleteYou can both suck it.
DeleteHmmm...interesting. However, I hate the word penis and I'm pretty straight. Like 99% of the time. What's embarrassing though is that I teach a reproductive physiology class/lab and I have to dissect a HUGE bull penis in front of a bunch of college kids. I cannot bring myself to say the word penis. I say "male copulatory organ." My students are more mature than I am.
ReplyDeleteI am going to start saying "male copulatory organ" all the time. It makes me laugh.
DeleteThis seems valid. I have a similar family embarrassment story, which also must be why I'm gay. When I was little (6ish?) my cousin asked if I knew what "gay" meant. I said yes even though I had never heard the word. I was embarrassed when he proceeded to ask me what it meant and I couldn't answer. When he told me what it meant I said "yeah I know, duh."
ReplyDeleteI must have really wanted to prove that I knew what it meant.
LOL. You certainly showed him.
DeleteSperm is gross. They look like tadpoles, with those little tails. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteMega yuck
DeleteI love that movie!
ReplyDeleteI hate the world ejaculate. Especially when a guy uses it. Still not gay somehow.
I am ok with that word. Maybe I am straight? Now I am confused.
DeleteI think pretty much any technical sex term sounds gross. I like the alternative word to "sperm" which is "spooge." It just makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
ReplyDeleteI have not heard the word spooge in a long time. I am going to have to start using it again.
DeleteSperm smells. And for any asshole that thinks sexuality is a choice, why the hell would I choose to have sex with a man who is in possession of a penis that shoots out this junk? What did Dorothy parker say about heterosexuality... "it's not normal, it's just common."
ReplyDeleteThe word...and the sight of that-thing-we-will-not-mention up close (not in person, but in pictures and stuff) gives me the willies.
ReplyDeleteWait, I didn't mean to use the word willies there. Seems inappropriate.