Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hobos and Beauty Pageants

My recent blogs about weird shit that has happened to me made me remember another story.

This happened when I was 19.

I was driving downtown with one of my friends, Andre. It was a nice day so I had the windows of my old truck rolled down. We come up to a red light and since we are on a one way street the sidewalk is right outside my window. Out of nowhere this rather crusty looking hobo comes around the corner, stops right next to my truck, looks directly into my soul and says

"You're running out of time, Miss America."

At that moment the light turned green and I had to move on. Andre  says to me "Umm did that crazy bum just call you Miss America?"

I was positive that this hobo knew I was going to die soon.

I refused to watch that Angelina Jolie movie "Life or Something Like it." because I was confident we shared the same fate.

Yes, I realize sometimes I am not very logical. I can't help it.

What would you have thought in this situation?

19 comments:

  1. He was saying, "You're not getting any younger. If you are going to be Miss America, you had better start now. Those winners are very young."

    It was an impromptu pep talk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I snorted iced tea. Thanks. Sounds kind of serious...almost as bad as when a little old nun told me I had precious moments left to save my soul. I wouldn't take fortune telling Hobos to heart...after all...if he could predict the future, wouldn't he have played the lotto?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe he just had a flash of my death? Also, that is messed up about the nun.

      Delete
  3. Um, I would have reacted the same way. I would have creeped myself out so badly I probably wouldn't have left the house for a month. Crazy hobos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a different crazy hobo tell me that I looked nice the other day. So they even themselves out.

      Delete
  4. Glad you're still with us. Perhaps he mistook you for Miss America that year. Any idea if she died that year?
    Or he was crazy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I have ever been tan enough to be mistaken for Miss America.

      Delete
  5. Thanks a lot creepy hobo! Clearly he was wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even fortune-telling hobos are wrong sometimes, I guess.

      Delete
  6. Years ago, this strange man approached me at work and said he had "the gift". It wouldn't kick in very often(it was a lazy sort of gift), but when it did, he could see someone's future as clear as overpriced bottled water. He told me I would marry a green-eyed man who I would be madly in love with. We would have two children, and live happily every after, like Cinderella on valium. I have yet to meet any man I would consider marrying, and I DO NOT want children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So he gave you a gift you didnt't necessarily want? lol

      Delete
  7. I would have been flattered he called me Miss America. It means he thought you were pretty, no? I'll take a compliment wherever I can get it. Just discovered your blog - hilarious! =)
    www.megansilianoff.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe he was talking to Andre

    ReplyDelete
  9. Are you sure he said Miss America or did he actually say miss America i.e. keep on driving and don’t look back

    or

    possibly miss America and hit Canada instead – a little harsh on the Canadians but if that’s what the bum instructed you to do how can you argue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha. I guess he could have meant it that way.

      Delete
  10. Allyssa!!! Allyssa!! Tell the story about swimming on my rug and the teacup!

    ReplyDelete