A Geography Lesson

Jason just walked into the office and said "I have a retarded question, where is Jamaica?" I set my head down on the desk. He continues " Is iT in the Caribbean or off the coast of Africa?" My response was to leave my head on the desk. He says "Look don't judge me"

Jason this is where Jamaica is

Lesson Learned

If you go through someone's phone, read their outgoing text messages, and find out that they think their cousin is cute and that they are DTF (and you share this information with your coworkers), it is than perfectly reasonable for them to yank your chair out from under you, causing you to fall on your ass. That makes you even.

On a completely unrelated note...

Earlier, Jess (featured above, obviously) yanked my chair out from under me. I don't know what would have caused her to do that.

Violated

Today I was violated. Ok, well I was forced to violate. Haley comes in here (in a very inappropriate outfit, by the way. I mean, seriously, she had on a denim mini skirt that was at most 4 inches long) and she is all tipsy and for some reason to get my attention she grabs my hand and puts it on her chest. Her boob to be specific. And than she keeps it there. Once I mention the awkwardness of my hand's current location she starts to move it around, forcing me to grope her. After I had yanked my hand away, she tries to do it again. I felt like I was Forrest and she was Jenny. Gross. (I am not saying that Haley is gross, I am simply stating that I never want to touch her boob ever again)

Haley the perpetrator.

Taking my own advice

Why on earth am I looking at shark videos on youtube?

Because the idiot on the left said I should.

Jason has the worst ideas ever. (The more I look at Kayla in this picture, the harder I laugh)

A Day in the life

fb is ridiculous

It is, I le hate it now.

I know. but I can't quit it. Facebook is to me like Jake Gyllenhal is to Heath Ledger

All up in that ass?

lololol

Why must you make everything dirty

LOL

...and later....

Wait wait..

yes?

I'll get a tattoo of myself drawing a stomach tattoo on myself, of me drawing (etc). Inception tattoo.

that made me head hurt......I meant "my"

OH, me head!

why does that make me laugh so hard

I don't know. But I did as well, after shouting OH me head out loud.

want to know what i am doing right now to entertain myself

Is it like Jake and Heath? If so, no...

My next animal will be named Hoggle

This is Merlin. I realized today that Ludo would have been a much more appropriate name.

Just a small town girl

Last night was too much fun. After having a lovely dinner date with my wife, which included Harby's pizza and Froyoz for dessert, we got ready to hit the town (or go out to the bar). We headed out to Urban looking like this

Look how cute we were. At Urban, we met up with some of the gays where we had a couple of drinks. Than, it was off to Toot's. I love Toot's. It is this little bitty honky tonk that is barely bigger than my bedroom. Last night was Karaoke night and it was ah-mazing.

Here most of us are singing "Don't stop Believing" I am pretty sure it is a law that if you are having a karaoke night anywhere, that someone MUST sing this song.  As you may notice Mindy is missing from this picture. I have to get her pretty drunk before she will do karaoke.  Maybe next time I will get her good and drunk and make her sing some Martina McBride.

When you're the best of friends.

This is Kayla.

She is my very best friend.  This is my absolute favorite picture of her. However, it was taken when she was 16. She is now 23 (or 24, maybe she is 25 )and takes inappropriate pictures of herself and posts them on facebook for everyone to see.  I miss when she was 16 and did not do this.

I was googling "friendship songs" in order to find a song that could so perfectly describe our love. During my search, I discovered that Rihanna's song "Umbrella" is about friendship, not sex as I had previously thought. So, Kayla, I have decided that is our song because you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh whenever you want.

Bad dog

This is Gypsy. She is not supposed to be on the couch, but who could possibly say "no" to that sweet face.

I do not understand

Mindy (my wife) is currently  in school to get a degree in accounting. Right this very moment she is googling financial scandals, not for a school assignment, just because she wants to know about them. 

I am starting to get a little worried.

An Introduction.

 I work at a bar in downtown Knoxville that will be referred to as Urban from here on out. Today, being a Monday, we have a pretty small staff. It is just myself (manager), Haley (bartender), Jason (kitchen), and Kristen (server). 3 out of the 4 people on staff are barely holding it together. I am obscenely  sore from a "Warrior Dash" I did this weekend. Kristen took a small fall down a flight of stairs earlier today and has quite the bump on her head to prove it. And than there is Jason. Now I love this boy more than I can explain and this is why.

Jason walks into work today looking like complete hell. As soon as he is in the door he starts breaking down boxes and telling me about his night. Being the good friend that he is, he took out our friend Dan last night to cheer Dan up.  They started the night out at Taste of Thai, and than being himself, Jason decides it is a great idea to go to the Mouse's Ear. Jason has the absolute worst ideas ever. One time he got drunk on tequila and drank milk the night before we went to ride roller coasters. So, Jason decides to to go the skankiest strip club in Knoxville on a Sunday night. Well, of course they get drunk, and they ended up bar hopping for the rest of the night.

Here is where it gets really interesting, once all the bars had closed and they were good and drunk, they ended up at a friend's place where they started wrestling and play fighting each other. Jason and Dan do this all the time. I don't understand it. Jason, Dan, and our other friend Michael are all fighting each other when Jason grabs Michael's head and slams it into Dan's face, breaking Dan's front tooth.

Now if I was Dan, I would be pretty angry at Jason, but apparently he is not.

The moral of the story is never, ever, listen to this guy's ideas.